Wow, what a weekend, a lot to go over.
I went to the Pacing concert with AJJ and it was fantastic!!! Pacing was the opener for Cheekface and she was able to complete my song in time! She even asked me to come on stage to help hold the song! It was on written on NASA paper which was even funnier. I showed her the fanart and then I showed the audience the art and I cannot believe that actually happened!!!!! The song is about two dogs ordering a pizza made out of the sun. I was not aware when I made that tiktok for Stef that this was somehow going to be the end result. I bought a CD from Pacing after the show which is one of the first few albums to make my 2025 list. Released January 7th, Songs is an exercise to make a song daily no matter the quality. My personal favorite is, "tortilla chip bag song," where Pacing sings off the back of one of those hipster Tortilla chips where apparently it can't just be a snack but it needs to be a story too. The offical album cover is crudly drawn but as a bonus/joke, all of her CD art for that is hand-drawn in the same crude style. I just love how personal her stuff is. Also on sale, though I didn't purchase since its hard for my head to stay committed, was a hat with a Pacing patch sewn over it. She goes to many thrift stores while on the road and sews the patches on by hand while going from place to place. She's so cool!
Before going to the concert which took place in San Antonio, I had to get my battery repaired. The struts are not quite up to snuff so I need new ones. If you're not a big car nerd, the struts are big coils that keep the car from shaking. Less shaking means less wear/abrasion which means the car works better for longer. Now pick up a handyman manual for god's sake. Actually, there's a book called, "How Things Work," by Theodore Gray and it may be the most important read of your wimpy life!
The concert, round-trip drive to San Antonio, and working on replacing my car battery/clamps left me utterly exhausted. I could not donate platelets the following day. Sigh.
Therapy appointment is this week. Between this newfound level of comfort I've found in my body and how I can now better process my negative emotions, I think I may be good for now. I'll book an extra one in September just in case but otherwise, I don't think I'll be continuing in October. While I am doing better, that doesn't mean the work stops. Unfortunately, the process is active.
I love the beanstack app. Originally, I installed it to participate in the library's summer reading challenge but now I use it whenever I read. I am a big dork for numbers and this perfectly keeps track of my page number, reading pace, and all the books I've read. What's not to love? I am loving the sandwich book so far.
At work today I had to work on this massive 1000 dollar order for 3 hours for a customer. They brought their one year old who was a day shy of being a two year old and I hope he gets Casey Anthony'd. Why would I wish such a thing? Is it because he wouldn't stay still? Is it because he wouldn't stop screaming and crying? Is it because he kept scribbling and touching things that wasn't his? Close, very close. He broke my San Antonio Sea World Magnet with the penguins I got with Stef in 🌍2023🌍. That actually made me really upset. I hope that litte cumstain dies. Fuck that kid! I hope a dinosaur eats him (the happy birthday song and dinosaurs make him cry apparently).
Reading back on these older entries, its occurred to me that the compulsion to continue cutting as to fix the incomplete part has not resurfaced in my head for some time. Progress?
Later this week something big will happen. I believe those who keep up with those cool-ass animated Spider-Man movies would refer to this as a, "canon event." This pertains to the heated argument from earlier. What happens from this event will likely be tucked in the "no one needs to know about this," section of my brain. If I go quiet this week, its about that. About what? About the thing that nobody needs to know about.(since the relapse I no longer publically have it listed how many days I've gone clean, but its in the double digits.)