Me and Kaitlyn saw the new Naked Gun movie and it was the best movie I've seen all year. Oh my fucking god it was so funny. I could not hold back my laughter during that snowman scene. Oh my fucking god that was so good!!!!!
I think I need to have a serious talk with my therapist because I don't understand how what we did last month or this month warrents a 200 dollar charge. I think it's good I'm getting better mentally and it seems to be uplifting other areas of my life but also, HUH??!!!?!?! I'm never late and normally she's the less punctual one (the session is extended so its not like I get shafted here) and I always answer their survey thingys regarding my current state so like, what's the deal? Next month will have to be the final one because this is teetering awfully close to being unsustainable. Wow.
Am I ready to move on? I think that's been the goal since I started. I've been actively working on myself and it seems to have worked for the most part. I mean, I'm still not happy with my body, I'm still living with my fucking loser piece of shit brother(proper allocation of my mean side), and I still hold a tremendous amount of worry over what the status of my friendship is with Stef, but like, I'm managing these things in a way that would have resulted in a several weeks long episode last year. I haven't had any urges to mentally degrade myself and the few times it slips, the sentiment is met with friction. It doesn't feel natural or easy to spite myself, if that makes sense. Since working and developing the idea for the art piece, Cinta Roja, I've also found new appreciation for my form. Again, much improved from last year where I wanted to cut my arms and puke when I saw my body. I think I am certainly closer to better.
I also have a need to create. It is a need and ignoring said need brings me closer to death. This is secretly a good thing. I want to reactivate my dead social media accounts (except facebook) and post more. I have a lot of good art and funny ideas and I wish for more people to see it. "Cubbers vol.1" is being tinkered with. I have a list of songs I would like to sing and I just need to figure out what to do with the insturmentals. Greg from Cheekface says its good practice to rip off certain parts/guts of songs to make original stuff. I'm not all there yet so for now I just want to do covers until I can find my sound. Mona Lisa by Mxmtoon is on that list.
I had a bit of a back and forth with a coworker who outright said anyone with a turban is a terrorist. I did give some pushback but I did not get overly serious or firm about it. In the event its a joke, which its kind of hard to tell with him, being overly serious greatly hurts one's credibility and then I come off as the lib who hates fun. SIGH. Its always a huge tightrope walk when it comes to these things, but I seem to be navigating them well.
After work I will be dropping by the library for new books and potentially a mug? I finished the library reading challenge by doing 600 minutes! Overall, for the summer, I've done eleven hours and I could not be happy about that fact! Gay month, disability month, black month have all come and gone. Not sure what this month entails but I am more than happy to learn more! I will also seek out some more graphic novels, a book on music relating to pianos and guitars, a book about quilting, and maybe something in spanish. BRAIN MUST GROW!!!!